Well....for one thing I should be asleep, but lately I stay up all night and sleep off and on during the day. This must change soon, fore school is yet to come again! Anyway...I have been enjoying my time back home. It feels great to lay around and do absolutely nothing, and not be obligated to go to work on a certain day or always have something to do. I get to simply lay around and play with the best little brothers one could ever have...except when the three year old is being mettlesome.
****DISCLAIMER: Be aware that I do not take myself or others too seriously, when I am in a relaxed environment. This is life and you're not promised tomorrow, so do what you wanna do, say what you wanna say as long as you aren't breaking a law. There's a time to be serious and a time to have fun... a place for everything. #BOW
anywho....
This past week I got into a squabble with one of my oldest friends. And I write this blog in no attempts to offend her in any way but, I say what's on my mind point.blank.per[.]iod. That is just how I am. I live my life in an "open book" sort of fashion. There are lots of things that I care to share with people because it makes me easy to relate to. People feel they can open up to me because I open up to them. True story, a co-worker of mine told me a secret that her own best friend didn't know and she had just met me that day. It was because I shared something about myself that made her feel that she could relate to me.
a brief synopsis....
A few friends and I left a bar and went to a comfy little cafe' in the downtown area with a couple of guys they were more acquainted with than I. However, I'm very personable so I fit right in. We got into a discussion about sweaty genitalia among other things of the sexual nature. Being that we were all mature adults, or so I thought..we got into a conversation about sex toys (a particular one that offended my "friend" at my mention of ownership) I found it hilarious that she would be so offended when she knows that I speak this way all of the time. I know in which crowds I have to show a bit more couth than others, but the way I see it: it was an intimate group and we're all grown and everyone at the table has had sex at some point in time. So the "friend" said that it was classless of me to mention that I owned this toy because these men were strangers...although I had met one of them a couple times. To me, it was a simple conversation about sex and sex is NATURAL!!! That's how we all got here,well most of us anyway...
So this friend tweets about such classlessness and I tell her that she should have @ted me. She claimed that it was out of "attempted respect" for me. *hysterical laugh* I say it was just being plain messy..if she said it to me at the table there was no need to put it on twitter...and if so you may have well just said my name...@mayreee
I have always been told to speak my mind, not to let people bully me, and to be the best me I can be...not only that I have also been taught that I cannot force my opinions,beliefs or thoughts on anyone else, and that I should be respectful of others in that way...
so rather than take offense to her comment..I laughed it off and told her "it's gonna be ok ." *with a less than hysterical, but passionate laugh*
Since I've been home, I've noticed that the small group of people I engaged myself with, puts a great deal of their personal lives on Twitter..I however don't have that much going on in my life, well I should say, I don't have enough time of day to spend tweeting about what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with, because most of the time I'm doing important things like working, dying my hair, playing with my brothers,talking to my mom, or my favorite pastime exercising my brain by R-E-AD-I-N-G great novels like "The Parable of the Sower" which I am currently enthralled in as we S-P-E-A-K.
the heart of the matter is....
This friend and I have fallen out over similar matters before,which is funny because this previous incident actually came up in conversation the same night. I cannot and will not be forced to live by any person's rules to life but my own! As long as I'm not breaking a law, disrespecting or harming anyone--you can pretty much read between the lines *holding three fingers up*
to make matters worse...she goes off on me like I pissed in her conrflakes...oh no ma'am-FFFIIIRRRSSTT OOOFFF ALLLLL.... (as the wonderful C double O chiness would say)* I apologized if I offended her not even in ATTEMPTS to be the bigger person, because it come naturally...but just to try to curb things before they took a wrong turn like that horror film. I can be a really petty person when I want to, and that ISN'T often...but when people feel like they can "put me in my place" it just tickles my pickle...what on God's Green Earth would make you think you could bully me????
you know me better than that girrrrrr...tehehe
She kept saying phrases like "so you mad now" and "clearly you're mad" and I'm LAUGHING LIKE SOMEONE IS TICKLING THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT WITH A FEATHER AND TELLING KNOCK KNOCK JOKES SIMULTANEOUSLY....
It was so funny because it was soooo high school...I just had to write about it because it opened up a whole new level of thought for me.
It inspired a conversation about how people act in everyday life between my mother and me. People like this "friend" fascinate me. They make me wonder if they've been dropped on their heads at birth or if these traits were genuinely inherited from people around them.
....She claimed that she was trying to tell me in order to keep me from sharing my business with the wrong people like she was trying to save my soul...but what so funny is...
men talk about her the same way she claimed that guys in her circle talked about me...
image is nothing to me...but yet is everything:
I don't care how ordinary people perceive me. As long as I'm kind,polite and respectful towards you, 9 times out of 10 you'll like me because I'm intelligent, witty and just plain ol' fun to be around. That other 1 out of the 10 are people like this "friend" who think that everyone should be respectful of her opinions and beliefs as well as abide by them to a level that meets her standards or else she will threaten to terminate the friendship after having a couple sit-downs with you to tell you why you're so f'd up and what you need to do to change your awful ways. LMAO... the thing is she won't stop being friends with you if you're weak minded, because she needs you because you feed her ego and you don't stand to threaten her shine....but If you say "girrrr please, this ain't neeeem what you wont rite hea" then she subliminal tweets about you, blocks you from all her social network pages and acts as if you give a f**k...
but the fact of the matter is I really could care less than caring less than caring less.....
if that makes any stupid sense?? lol
I only wrote this because she intrigues me like a psychologist is fascinated by the motives of a murderer on SVU. Its like "what planet do you live on?"
But my favorite part is that she kept threatening to say "some really f'd up s*** to me" but would then retract with a "but I won't stoop so low." She claims to speak her mind and tell you about yourself because "that's what friends do" and because she was taught to "speak her mind" no matter how tactless then don't you think she would have already told me about myself.
soooo,
I was left under the impression that she didn't really have much on me...I'm pretty difficult to embarrass. I can thank my 5th grade class of MEAN GIRLS for this thick skin!!! It takes a lot to make me sooooo mad that I'd want to retaliate in some childish manner.
This rambling is just to kind of get my thoughts out into the open.
Not once did I even call her a b**ch...I'm proud of myself...because a few years back in my ratchet days I wouldn't have given her a warning that I would simply come to her house so we could settle it..I would have just showed up and said "b**ch, come outside, I ain't fa no talkin' "<<>>> BUT people this is what I call G-R-O-W-T-H #BOW as the great MB would say!
On the whole- Don't try to change people simply because you're "just being a friend." Have a sit down with the person if you feel like something they are doing is harming them or ones they love and explain to them why you feel the way you do in a non judgemental fashion. THEN if that person does not change to your liking (which they probably won't) and you feel that they are hindering your growth or are a continuous detriment to your precious reputation---GET THAT PERSON THE HELL OUTTA YOUR LIFE..disassociate yourself with them. But by no means, do you go around asking people if you look like a slut for hanging with someone (this part isn't about me) If you call someone your friend you ACCEPT them in their ENTIRETY and you DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THEM if they aren't what you like, then un/de/in-friend them.lol
I KNOW THIS WAS LONG BUT I HAD TO SAY THIS MANE!!!! TEHEHE
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