#np "She Said" x Foxx ft. Trey Songz
So, recently I have been discussing the issue of "cut friends," "f*** buddies," etc. with different groups of people and everyone had very different points of views and ideas of what the boundaries of these types of relationships should be.
In my opinion, ALL people should be compartmentalized. Everyone in your life must serve a purpose, and should be categorized according to the purpose that they serve. With that being said, if a relationship between two consenting adults is solely based on sex, they should make that explicitly clear and have no contact other than the "booty call" and or text. There should be boundaries set so as not to cause problems later. Maybe, this need to disconnect from someone I'm only interested in f***ing stems from my inability to fully commit to anyone or anything. Or perhaps, it stems from my lack of a father, could be the lack of affection that people in my family show, or perhaps ITS JUST COMMON SENSE. I can't for the life of me understand why someone would want to hang out with and or kick it with someone they are "just having sex with." That is how emotions get involved, cars get keyed, baby mamas get called and so forth.
A friend and I were discussing this in the car one day. He said that its about more than just sex and that you should get to know people and be able to be friends. He said it was immature for me to think that way. The hole I shot through his theory was this: He builds these bonds/relationships with girls without a commitment but letting them feel like his is genuinely interested in their life and well being, which he very well may be. However, this causes the female to think there is more going on and feel some sense of entitlement to him. How do I know? Because, my eleventh grade year of high school, I was the closest thing he had to a serious girlfriend and we were very much in love or so I thought. These "friend" felt as though I was some sort of threat and attempted everything from fighting me to unsuccessfully trying to get me expelled. I was the target for soemthing I had nothing to do with, the causalty. Each girl felt as though he was their boyfried, when his feelings were not mutual. See all of this confsion could be avoided if you would just draw a line and never cross it. Treat a f*** friend as such. Not as a real friend.
That was case study one. In, study number two. I knew a person who refused to listen to me when I warned not to hang out with their f***k friend. That person did not listen to me, now one party has more feelings than the other.smh. #tragic
I feel there are certain guidelines to f*** friendom, they are as follows:
1.Only contact when asking for sex
2.Be upfront about all other sexual parteners when taking risks such as not using protection
3 USE PROTECTION (you dont want a baby with a jumpoff now do you?)
4. Don't lie or omit info about other relationships you are in such as gf/bf baby mama/daddy/fiance/WIFE (this could cause problems)
5.NO SLEEPOVERS, get your a** up and go home
6.No dates
7.Draw clear boundaries...make a mutual agreement on the boundaries and expectations of the f*** friendom
8.Leave no evidence
I know this may sound a little extreme, but I've seen to many of these situations go wrong. This perception came from years of witnessing womanizing. #blamemyfather
I'd really like feedback. :)
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